Short Paper #1: Mothers in Literature

           Mothers are a significant part of our lives. They bring us into this world, and play an important role in molding us into the individuals we are to become. Mothers are certainly a large aspect of literature, especially, though not exclusively, in works by female authors. Does a woman gain or lose her self-identify once she becomes a mother? The relationship between a mother and her child(ren) is paradoxical, and in a sense, tragic. I aim to analyze the multi-dimensional and complex aspect of motherhood illustrated in Please Look After Mom by Kyung-Sook Shin and My Michael by Amos Oz.

            Please Look After Mom by Kyung-Sook Shin details the life of Park So-nyo, an elderly, hard-working mother of four adult children. So-Nyo, referred to as ‘mom’, goes missing while boarding a Seoul subway station in South Korea. With efforts of finding Mom quickly underway, her family slowly comes to realize, almost regrettably, how little they understand and know of their devoted mother. No one seems to know that Mom has this inability to read or write, or that she withstands gruesome headaches on a daily basis, or even when her actual birthday is. Not a single family member can describe a complete and whole image of Mom. Every memory recalled of Mom is fractured and disoriented. However, small truths of Mom’s life come into focus as forgotten memories unfold. “Only after Mom went missing did you realize that her stories were piled inside you, in endless stacks. Mom's everyday life used to go on in a repeating loop, without a break. Her everyday words, which you didn't think deeply about and sometimes dismissed as useless when she was with you, awoke in your heart, creating tidal waves.” The idea of guilt and regret emerges in this passage as Chi-hon, oldest daughter and author, reflects on her actions and neglect of Mom. Hyong-chol, oldest son, echoes her sentiment. He goes on to say, “his heart brims with the desire to do nothing but look after Mom when she’s found. But he has already lost that chance” (120).

Please Look After Mom tells a story of a mother who devotes all of her time, energy, money, and even food to her family. Mom is a self-sacrificing woman whose adult children and husband neglect and ignore her. She doesn’t have an identity outside the walls of the kitchen, where she cleans and cooks daily. No one relates to Mom in terms of Park So-nyo. When asked if she likes working in the kitchen, Mom responds, “I don't like or dislike the kitchen. I cooked because I had to. I had to stay in the kitchen so you could all eat and go to school. How could you only do what you like? There are things you have to do whether you like it or not.'  What kind of question is that?  'If you only do what you like, who's going to do what you don't like?(62). The portrait of motherhood in the figure of self-sacrificing Mom throughout Please Look After Mom is one that isn’t idealized, but historical and culturally rooted.

            Motherhood in My Michael is portrayed in the figure of Hannah Gonen, a young mentally-unstable woman and mother to son, Yair. Hannah is an interesting character who struggles with her own identity even before she becomes a mother. She neglects to record any personal details about her pregnancy, contrary to that of her intricate dreams, and virtually ignores the actual birth of Yair. Hannah’s identify is further lost once she becomes a mother. There’s a complete disconnect between her and Yair from the very beginning of the novel:

Sometimes, when the baby cried and Michael was out, I would get up barefoot and violently rock the cradle…As if my son had wronged me. I was an indifferent mother during the early months of my son’s life. I remembered Aunt Jenia’s distasteful visit at the beginning of my pregnancy, and at times I imagined perversely that it was I who had wanted to get rid of the baby and Aunt Jenia who had forced me not to. I also felt that I should soon be dead and so I owed nothing to anyone, not even to this pink, healthy, wicked child. Yes, Yair was wicked (80).

It’s interesting to note that Hannah compares Yair’s birth with that of her death, and fails to form any type of meaningful bond with him. His official birth announcement is cold and blunt. “Our son Yair was born in March 1951”(67). Surprisingly, there’s a lack of joy and warmth behind the life-changing statement.

Following the birth of Yair, Hannah develops a form of post-partum depression. Though, I would argue that her sickness is only an excuse and a physical manifestation of her emotional rejection of Yair, even after she becomes well again. “Even when Dr. Urbach announced that he was satisfied that the complication was cleared up, and that I was free to resume a normal life in every way, even then I was still ill” (81). Even though Hannah is able to care for her son, she neglects him. There’s a total absence of love and affection as Hannah fails to look Yair in the eyes and even forcibly beats him. “I would thrash him, without looking into his grey, calm eyes, until panting; I succeeded in wringing the sobs from his eyes. His will power was so strong

that it sometimes made me shudder, and when his pride was finally broken, he would throw me a grotesque whimper which sounded more like an imitation of a crying child”( ?).

When Yair becomes too much of a burden, Hannah sends him to Michael, her quiet and unassuming husband. “At the age of four Yair sometimes come out with questions which I cannot answer. I send him with his questions to his father” (102). Hannah quickly gets impatient and irritated with the fact that she can’t grapple with the active mind of her young son. As any proud mother would, Hannah’s incapable of marveling at the intellect and maturity of Yair. At one point in the novel, Michael notices Hannah’s lack of love and nourishment towards her son and pleads with her to put forth some effort in loving Yair. He exclaims, “I’m nothing special, Hannah, but you must try as hard as you can to love Yair, It will be better for you if do, too…I have the feeling that you’re not wild about him” (142).

Motherhood is a complex issue that’s deeply embedded in our concepts of identity and personal subjectivities. The idea of Motherhood illustrated in My Michael is tainted by the actions and mentality of Hannah Gonen. Hannah is a strong negative force in Yair’s life, and doesn’t at all represent the universal mother figure that we all come to love.